It was a beautiful, clear morning and the water was perfectly still on the lake. I paddleboarded away from the shore and watched the bottom of the lake get deeper and less rocky. I could see perfectly the sand formed into rhythmic ridges and valleys, and marveled over how deep I could see, how clear the water was. I could see occasional rocks, a pipeline, and even a pair of sunglasses, perfectly out of reach, dozens of feet below me.
A motor boat would pass by, dozens of yards away, and soon enough the waves from the boat would reach me and my paddleboard would dip and roll. I bent at the knees and tried to be fluid like the water so as to not crash off the board and into the frigid water.
I breathed in deeply the morning air, the freshness of it seeming to still every stray thought and worry, allowing me to fully enjoy the present moment. This moment is summer, I thought.
Later as I returned to our little spot on the shore, I saw my daughter asleep on her towel, a hat laying on her face to block the bright sun from her eyes. Cousins were tiptoeing around her, carefully placing crackers near her as they tried to lure the geese in to eat off of her exposed belly.
I sat on my paddleboard and watched, humored by their antics and silently cheering for the bravest goose to come just a little bit closer. It took a long time, but eventually the goose, emboldened by all of the delicious crackers, wildly nibbled on the treat on the sleeping sunbather’s belly.
Cousins abruptly cheered and laughed and I joined in. My daughter, who hadn’t seemed aware of the determined luring of the goose, and without moving a muscle, startled me when she asked for a replacement cracker for the one which had been eaten. So she had been aware of the game and was now joining in!
I pause in my reflection now, as I realize the calendar above my head still proclaims the month of May.
June, and even the beginning of July have been swallowed up in thousands of moments, some memorable like the paddleboarding and the temptation of the goose, and so many more which have been lost in the whirlwind of time.
Will summer always be such a frantic thing? It is like a child who demands all of my attention, refuses to be ignored, and unapologetically hides all of my work aspirations behind closed doors chained shut with placating words aimed to redirect my attention away, away, away.
This child – summer – is all of those things, but when I relent, when I focus on her, she is just so enchanting, I find myself wholly – even willingly – absorbed in her.
I woke before the sun was fully up today, determined to get something done, as a responsible adult with many important goals…but the air was so cool and inviting and I just needed to feel it on my skin…summer lured me away again.
Maybe I am the goose and the crackers are summer and my work dreams are the bugs (or whatever geese eat), which are soooo much more work to find.
And maybe that’s okay.
Excuse me now, please. There’s a calendar that needs changing, but first it looks like maybe I need to sit outside and lose myself in watching the summer rain come.
Комментарии